I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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