my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
