i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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