Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
