I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
