I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
