I could make wine with my vomit
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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