if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
