I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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