Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
