I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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