apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
