I want to stick my p in your. b.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
