he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
