YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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