I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
