Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
