The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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