I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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