i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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