So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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