On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
