I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
