I want to have your abortion
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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