i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize