So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
