The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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