True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
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I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.