she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.