Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants