is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.