Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.