I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
