my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
