you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
