her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize