Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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