my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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