Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
