Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
