okay pat passed out under dana's car
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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