Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
