I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
