oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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