Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
