It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
