what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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