Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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