She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
50% drunk capacity currently
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.