But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway