its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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