my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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