WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
