I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
