Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
