Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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