I got chris browned last night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
