I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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