were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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