I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
