plz talk dirty to me
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You were trust falling into bushes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
