wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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